Don’t say you’ll ‘treat a girl like a princess’ unless you’re prepared to follow up on that shit.
If I’m not living in a castle by the sea with diplomatic powers over a small country then you’re a bitch-ass liar.
This is some real talk
if you follow me and you see me in real life
you should definitely say hello and tell me that you know me from the internet
but dont hurt me
From A Dog’s Life, which is available to pre-order (due out in September)
i am constantly torn between ‘i dont need anyone’ and ‘hey you please fall in love with me’
im going to confuse the fuck out of akinator and just answer no to every single question bc he is a little faggot
oh wow you want to fucking fight me you little shitheaded whore who do you even think you are
upsides to being a dragon
- everyones afraid of you
- you can eat your enemies
- youre fucking fly as hell
- also some dragons can fly dont tell me that aint rad
- breathing stuff that kills people
downsides to being a dragon
What if Gordon Ramsay voiced a GPS
"Great job, you missed the exit you fucking disgrace."